August 25, 2008 by Clair Button.

The concept of ethics is a wonderful thing. Most of us, myself included, assume that we have a reasonable supply of good ethical standards, while the other guy could probably stand to upgrade his own. It almost goes without saying that very few attorneys or politicians are given credit for having any at all.

Ethics are sort of the modern day equivalent of moral values as they apply to law, government, business, and professions. Given the first three applications, it is little wonder that few people put much faith in ethics, and that is likely the reason why ethics have been held apart from morals based on religion, at least as long as I have been aware that either existed.

The wonderful thing about ethics is that if you have some, you can feel good about yourself and look down upon the guy who doesn’t, even if you don’t already subscribe to some sort of religion that conveys an absolute certainty of moral superiority. Also, if you don’t have particularly high ethical standards, you can always point to some other guy who screwed up and got caught before you did, or somebody who should have been caught but wasn’t, or somebody who is going to get caught in the future.

In those four fields of endeavor I mentioned above, it is relatively easy to identify the folks who don’t have sufficient moral character.  They are the ones who literally get caught with their pants down. That is not a sexist comment, since it has been shown to apply equally to some female “Congressmen”.

Unfortunately, ethics is a squishier concept than morality, although there is quite enough contrariety in defining either idea. It is much more difficult to pin down which lawyer, politician, or business person has better ethical standards than another. I have not looked into the origins of ethics much, except that I learned in grade school that a Greek doctor named Hippocrates may have been the first to develop a professional ethical standard. The trades which eventually came to be recognized as “professions” have generally led the way in developing some sort of written ethical standards and mechanisms of enforcing those on the professionals.

The other three trades have mostly been dragged kicking and screaming into the modern age of accountability, but they just haven’t been dragged far enough. The problem is that any proposal to develop enforceable ethical standards constantly runs into a wall built of money, self-interest, and gargantuan egos. Rather than being like the medical profession which is concerned with tight enforcement to keep the number of doctors low (and therefore keep salaries high to benefit all doctors), lawyers, politicians, and businessmen seem to be more concerned with preventing rules that might keep the boldest among them from acquiring the greatest reward at the moment for themselves. While doctors seem to think they should police their ranks to prevent the profession from being disgraced, the other three trades seem to spend a lot of money and effort covering each other from the would be regulators. Politicians do, of course, make exceptions for the guy on the other side of the aisle.

An unethical business person is more likely to get caught being unethical than either a politician or a lawyer. In business, you can write off a lack of ethical treatment of your customer to “customary and reasonable” practices, which is an evolving science of excusing poor workmanship. For example, a contractor can tell you it is customary business practice to leave your new house with uneven floors, shingles that blow off because they have only two nails installed in the wrong locations, or a bathtub that won’t drain completely. As a consequence, though, the business person tends to lose business and soon finds it necessary to go into real estate sales.

Lawyers and politicians are less likely to be embarrassed by poor ethics partly because of those gargantuan egos and partly because those who are truly skilled in the art of dialectics can create enough verbal confusion and distraction to make you forget they don’t have any ethics. They are also better than most of us at pointing out the faults of others. Because of those bold egos, they will gleefully try make you believe that riding a bicycle onto the sidewalk is the ethical equivalent of beating your grandmother or child abuse.  If you spend enough time trying to discredit that stupid idea, you might even forget the lawyer just picked your pocket or the politician just squandered a whole lot of your tax money.

Law and politics also have their own version of “customary and reasonable” exculpatory science working for them. How many times have you heard somebody say, “Well, what do you expect, he’s a __, isn’t he?”

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August 9, 2008 by Dave Rama.

We need more heroes. Heroes have character. They have passion and principle. I’ve always had heroes. They range from Chip Hilton to Dirty Harry, to the 1980 Olympic hockey team, to the crew of the Challenger, to Martin Luther King, Jr., to Hank Aaron, to Sister Teresa to Pat Tillman to Jessica Ellis. In my view, there is no one more heroic than Jackie Robinson, with the possible exceptions of Mr. Truman and Mr. Lincoln. They are all folks who were willing to take a stand on issues of importance. If you read
“THE CHARGE OF THE LIGHT BRIGADE”, you will get the ideal of heroism. Heroism is the act of putting principle or the welfare of others above your own well-being.

There are anthems for heroes. My personal favorite is “the Impossible Dream” from Man of La Mancha. The martial music and stirring lyrics like “to fight the unbeatable foe”, or, “to be willing to march into Hell for a Heavenly cause”, combine to give us a picture of a heroic character.

In the sometimes-friendly confines of Baker City, there resides a somewhat Quixotic fellow. I am not aware of him tilting at windmills, but he does strive to push the boulder of enlightenment up the Blue Mountain of ignorance. He doesn’t give up easily, but sticks to his principles. He has attempted to get the village council to follow the U. S. Constitution. In the event the local council gets the message, then the REAL heavy lifting begins. then we can attempt to get Salem and Washington, D.C. to follow the Constitution.

In ten years of living in this community, Gary Dielman has never wandered into my line of sight. I hope I get to meet him. A person of principle intrigues me whether we agree or not. Anyone who is able and willing to annoy the religious right-wingers that John McCain called “agents of intolerance’ is certainly heroic enough for my list.

Dave Rama

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August 9, 2008 by Dave Rama.

Basketball is a fun game to play, terrific exercise, and entertaining to watch ( although there are qualifications on that last, like the six-on-six game the women used to play, and seventh grade boys intramurals). Basketball is also a good game to talk, and it comes with its own vernacular. The following is a beginner’s guide to the terms found on the playgrounds and in the gymnasiums of the country. Beginners will find this somewhat helpful, but the listings are not meant to be complete, as the lingo gets updated frequently. If your only interest in the sport is to watch young athletes cavort for your entertainment in short pants, this will be of no interest to you. If that is your motivation, enjoy. I have been known to watch beach volleyball for similar reasons.

Some of these terms are used to taunt and flaunt, and, on rare occasions, haunt an opponent. Other terms may be complimentary. For example, “the difference between champ and chump is U.” If you can determine whether this is taunting or complimentary, we are making progress. A widely used term is “dunk”. If your only use of this term involves Oreos and milk, this essay will be of little use to you.

Some portions of the country hold hoops to be a religion unto itself, and there are terms that reflect this fervent feeling. You need to understand that “prayer” and “talk to God” mean entirely different things. If I launch a prayer on the court (and I have done this), it means that I need to be in God’s good graces if I have any expectations of this unlikely shot going in the basket. Think of a flying, off-balance, dirty left-handed hook shot, and you will understand “prayer”. When these crazy attempts actually score, your prayer has been answered. A player who can “talk to God” is something entirely different from one puts up a “prayer”. This player can be considered blessed, because it means that he can jump really high; Maybe high enough to talk to the Lord face to face. For the record, no one has ever said that I could talk to God, though a fair number have suggested that it would be a good idea. I suffer from that debilitating condition known as “white man’s disease”, which is the inability to jump high. I share a first name with David Thompson, but no one has ever mistaken me for the original “skywalker”, who had a 44″ vertical jump from a standing start.

The art of rebounding adds a number of terms to our lexicon. If you are a “banksweeper” or a “boardman deluxe”, that means you are able to “eat some glass”, which is to say that you are a collector of “boards, yanks, pulls, and caroms”. If someone has named you “windex”, it means you do an excellent job of cleaning the glass. Backboards are now mostly made of glass, and are sometimes called the “window”.

There is a portion of the court on each end of the floor called the free throw lane, which was originally called the “key” or “keyhole” for its shape. It is now known as the three second zone, “the paint”, “the land of the giants”, and the “Valley of Death”. It is an area mostly inhabited by the larger, more physical players, and it usually suggested that the smaller players not venture into the paint.

The NBA has a group of mid-size players (6′4 to 6′8″) that usually are the dazzling athletes that amaze the crowd. A short list would include Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and Julius Erving (known as Dr. J, because he could OPERATE on the court). These players administer “facials” to their opponents by dunking in their face. This is also called “posterizing” because somebody always gets a photo of these dunks, and the pictures are turned into posters for sale.

Players need not only physical but psychological strength as well, because everyone has to learn to deal with “rejection”. This is the act of getting your shot blocked, or “swatted”. A swat will immediately be followed by conversation. “How’d that taste?” “Eat it.” “Did you know that you have Wilson stamped on your forehead?”

The term “shake and bake” refers to a player who can shake loose from his defender, and “burn” him by scoring. “Wheeling and Dealing” describes a spin move, followed by a pass to an open teammate for an easy score. This was first applied to Earl “the Pearl” Monroe, whose original nickname was “Black Jesus” because he did miraculous things. Numerous players have been called “Velveeta” because their play was so smooth.

With the exception of dunks and layups all shots require arch. In math terms, the ball should follow a parabolic arc from the shooter’s hand to the basket or backboard. A flat shot without arch virtually never goes in. A shot that reaches for the sky is sometimes referred to as coming down with snow on top of the ball. That will still stand a better chance of going in than a line drive shot. Shots lifted from close range are called chippies, cherries, bunnies, rabbits, and cripples. Long shots are called treys, triples, or threes. A shooter firing from way behind the three point line will prompt the announcers to say “DEEP!” “downtown” “moon shot”, or “curve of the earth”.

Almost everyone knows the term “Swish”. This has nothing to do with how you walk. It refers to the sound of a shot that goes in without touching the rim or the backboard. That is also called “nothing but net”, or “twine!” A favorite for lots of fans is a ball that rolls around the rim several times before going in or out. That is called a “toilet-seater”.

Sometimes the terms can be confusing. Announcer Dick Vitale uses a complimentary description: “That kid can shoot the rock”!! The terms rock, pill, and apple all refer to the basketball. Confusion enters when someone refers to laying a “brick”. This is not a complimentary term, and the accompanying sound is not going to be a lovely swish, but is more likely to generate a clunk, a thud, or a clang. A player known as a bricklayer, a hod carrier, or a recent graduate of masonry school needs to do a lot of work on their shooting. The fan that wishes to follow the game and its conversation needs to understand the difference between “rock” and “brick”.

I hope this is helpful. It is not meant to be a comprehensive rendering of the slang associated with basketball, but simply a jumping off spot for those who have had their education neglected. If there is doubt, just remember, in basketball, skywalker is good and bricklayer is bad.

Dave Rama

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